Anxiety and Trains

Train strikes are not good for people with anxiety. I was standing around for my train, which wasn’t direct and meant I had to change at a weird stop, and I was shaking as it kept getting delayed and I got confused.

I started walking back, really sad, when a familiar face appeared. She told me it was okay and made me follow her. Then, she found her friend and stood with him but I was too anxious of being late to get on the train, so I left again. I just couldn’t do it.

I was in tears to my mum, knowing I’d already missed so many days, but my anxiety feels like it’s destroying my life sometimes. It takes away everything from me: social interaction, education, independence. People say for me to just stop thinking about it but I can’t and the more I try not to think about it, the more I end up thinking about it.

This is really affecting my college work and my life in general and it just sucks. I wish I could get over it, but I can’t. It’s just always there, hanging on the wall, spiking my toes, clawing its way through my ears, my lungs.

I just want it gone but it never goes. Never.

Lia

A-Levels Rule…

There is this annoying thing about A-Levels called “work” and the “work” that is involved in A-Levels is not the same kind of “work” we had in GCSEs.

In GCSEs, sure it was tough, sure we’d get detentions if we didn’t hand it in on time: but it was manageable. I’m on my summer break, have been for a couple of months, and I’ve got work to do and it is so hard.

My creative writing is alright but it’s the English that’s suffocating me. We have to do this essay and I have no clue what to do for it. You have to think up the subject entirely by yourself and then you have to hunt for an article to compare it to, before you even write the essay.

Like, how am I expected to find an article that’s good enough for comparison? I don’t know. I haven’t even started the essay yet and I already can’t do it because I don’t have an article. I’ve been searching for days but there’s not really anything worthwhile.

This is for my coursework too, so it’s pretty important.

:c