Why I Love Writing Poetry

Poetry is the main thing in life that keeps me going. I’ve been through hard times and just getting it out onto paper helps. I can’t tell people about the hardest of times because they won’t understand but I can write about it. I can write about all the things that keep me up at night. Sometimes I lock away the poems, for my eyes only, and other times I share them with the world.

My mum is an artist. I always found that to be such an awesome job (even if you don’t get paid much mostly) because you can express who you are in art. I tried to do art but it just wasn’t for me. At one point, when I was a kid, I wanted to be an actress. I loved acting! But then I lost my confidence due to events and gave up on that. At one stage, I wanted to be vet. I’ve always been writing, since I was young, but never thought it was something that could become more meaningful than just a hobby. I started out writing picture books and soon turned to short stories. Now poetry is my domain.

Writing has saved me a lot, I’d say. It has helped with my depression and anxiety. It hasn’t cured them but getting words out onto paper has really helped me. I do wish I could tell people my true feelings but I fear loneliness. Once you place your burdens on people, they might leave you. It’s happened before. So I place my burdens on writing now. The paper absorbs my soul and breathes my air.

Poetry is art too; it’s just a different form of art. No one sees the world the way I see it. Especially due to me being autistic. I often find myself holding back thorns in my mouth because I want to tell people how I see the world. But they will not approve because it’s not how you’re supposed to see the world. At least poetry will always be my friend, and it will always accept me, even though I’m different. Poetry doesn’t give me bad advice or tell me things I don’t need to know; it just listens and that’s why I love it.

Thank you poetry.

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The Whispers

whispers entrancing my thoughts,
seducing me into a state of confusion,
my eyes low, the floor my ally,
everyone around the enemy,
if I look up, they will know
that I’m not worth the time of day,
the whispers tell me that
they’re not my friends,
they will never like me,
because I am insane,
I am existence’s bane.
friends talk about how they understand
but they don’t,
only the whispers do,
they know my deepest fears,
my worst insecurities,
and everyone else will pretend
it’s not that bad, that it can go away
if I just tried —
but the whispers know that
it’s not something I can fix.
that’s why they’re who I trust the most,
they might be mean and harsh,
but they accept me for who I am,
with all the bad too.
they don’t silence me for talking bad,
for having a rant, for a meltdown,
for moaning, or just being me,
they’re always here.
they always have time.
Always.

My Dad’s Poem

This poem is by my dad. I’m very proud.

We breathe so we cannot drown.

We love so we cannot spread doom.

We smile to better soften our foe.

We light the room which was so cold.

We pass through this world in a flash

We live for the now but not in a rush.

We are our future we are our past.

Escapril: Catharsis

i want to drown
but i want to fly
i want to swim
but i want to fall
i want it to end
but i want it to start
i don’t know when
i don’t know why
this is my coffee
without it im tired
need this writing
to set me in motion
i want to spiral
but i want to straighten up
i want to be liked
but i dont want to fit in
i want so many things
nothing works
this is how i swing
my feelings, in words.

Escapril: May Flowers

I see a daisy,
pick it up,
will they love me?
love me not?
I see a rose,
pick it up,
ouch a thorn!
not much love here.
I see a sunflower,
so big and beautiful,
don’t pick it up,
just smile.
I realise that nature
is always around us,
we don’t need to tamper
with it to enjoy it.
Just let it do what it wants.
It is nature after all.

Escapril: Girlhood, Boyhood

As a girl,
I learnt to cry.
As a girl,
I learnt to smile.
As a girl,
I learnt to trust.
As a girl,
I learnt to hate.
As a girl,
I learnt to wonder.
As a girl,
I learnt to forgive.
As a girl,
I realised
life isn’t easy
but it’s there.
As a girl,
I realised
the world isn’t fair
but it’s there.
As a girl,
I realised
many things
that still scare me now.

Escapril: Pick An Animal

This animal sleeps a lot,
they eat bamboo,
they’re under threat
so protect them we must,
because what is the world
without the furry, chubby
black and white creatures
we call pandas?
Ironically, I think it’d be a lot
less colourful.