Why I Love Writing Poetry

Poetry is the main thing in life that keeps me going. I’ve been through hard times and just getting it out onto paper helps. I can’t tell people about the hardest of times because they won’t understand but I can write about it. I can write about all the things that keep me up at night. Sometimes I lock away the poems, for my eyes only, and other times I share them with the world.

My mum is an artist. I always found that to be such an awesome job (even if you don’t get paid much mostly) because you can express who you are in art. I tried to do art but it just wasn’t for me. At one point, when I was a kid, I wanted to be an actress. I loved acting! But then I lost my confidence due to events and gave up on that. At one stage, I wanted to be vet. I’ve always been writing, since I was young, but never thought it was something that could become more meaningful than just a hobby. I started out writing picture books and soon turned to short stories. Now poetry is my domain.

Writing has saved me a lot, I’d say. It has helped with my depression and anxiety. It hasn’t cured them but getting words out onto paper has really helped me. I do wish I could tell people my true feelings but I fear loneliness. Once you place your burdens on people, they might leave you. It’s happened before. So I place my burdens on writing now. The paper absorbs my soul and breathes my air.

Poetry is art too; it’s just a different form of art. No one sees the world the way I see it. Especially due to me being autistic. I often find myself holding back thorns in my mouth because I want to tell people how I see the world. But they will not approve because it’s not how you’re supposed to see the world. At least poetry will always be my friend, and it will always accept me, even though I’m different. Poetry doesn’t give me bad advice or tell me things I don’t need to know; it just listens and that’s why I love it.

Thank you poetry.

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Thursday & Friday

I went out two days in a row – Thursday & Friday, and it was pretty draining because, to me, going out two days in a row is daunting. I just get exhausted easily. I was actually going to go out three days in a row, but the guy that was supposed to be viewing our house cancelled last minute because he didn’t like the location. We’d already cleaning it and got ready and he cancelled. It was kinda annoying because I’d prepared myself for going out.

On Thursday, my mum surprised me with some Sylvanian Families — more precisely, babies!! They were adorable so I went out with her to get some more. I haven’t had any in so many years and it was really nice to rekindle that interest. The toy shop we went to was awesome too, will definitely be visiting again. We had dinner at Pizza Express because it was open and other places we would’ve gone to weren’t. I had a nice vegan pizza and my mum had a non-vegan one. I saw a girl that I recognised from the group I was going to later there, but I didn’t say anything at the time because I didn’t want to bother her/didn’t have the confidence.

So, I went to the group after Pizza Express and it was quite good because A DOG WAS THERE AND SHE WAS THE SWEETEST! It’s a once a month group, I think I mentioned my first meeting in a previous lot, but this was the second time I’ve attended. It’s for autistic women and I’m the youngest member, being only 18, whilst most of the others are quite a bit older. They seem nice though; I don’t mind the age gap. The idea is to talk about what happened that month for the first half and then discuss a topic in the second half. I guess I didn’t mind talking in the first half because I had the dog on my lap and she was adorable. She was kinda big for my lap but it really helped with my confidence. She’s supposedly a trained therapy dog, though when someone acted out crying she didn’t go help. Maybe she sensed they were acting? Later some people did actually cry and she didn’t go help either, I think she was too busy being cute. I won’t hold it against her, because she’s lovely.

In the second half, I got really anxious because I wanted to say something but, as it wasn’t in turns like the first half, didn’t feel I could speak up. I didn’t want to interrupt anyone. So I kinda just huddled into myself and stayed quiet.

Friday was a good day because I saw three cats outside of my home. Firstly, I went to MyMindSpeaksAloud’s house to play games! That was really fun. We played Monopoly Deal, Exploding Kittens (app version), Meow Meow/Mauns Mauns (fave game), Monopoly (Stranger Things version), and Bananagrams. I also had soup there, which was very nice. It was so great hanging out with her, as I don’t get to go out much or hang with people my age so it was really lovely. She also returned the DVD I lent her ages ago that she had only just watched the night before. I also saw her cats — Jasper and Monty!! Jasper is kinda timid but he was more approachable than he had been last time I saw him. Monty was so sweet and loving and just awesome. He’s adorable, ahh.

I left and went to my aunt and uncle’s house for dinner. I had vegan shepherd’s pie and they had chilli. This is where I got to see the third cat of the day — Haku! He has such soft fur. He’s also really sweet. I don’t normally get to see him when I come as we usually bring Pablo and he hides, so it was really nice to see him. He was very cute. It was nice to see them as well as I don’t see them that much usually.

It was a long car journey home, but worth it because I got to see three awesome… cats. Yeah, you thought I was gonna say humans, but nope. The cats. The only reason I went there. The people were OK.

Also, my dad set fire to a shelf on Saturday (yesterday). Good job, father.

Thanks for reading,

Lia

Met Favourite Author!

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Yesterday was my mum’s birthday, and the day after my dad’s operation, but I couldn’t not go. It was something I might never get to do again, so I convinced my mum to come with me, and we went to see Patrick Ness, my favourite author! Don’t worry: my dad had a lot of other family and friends willing to look after him.

It was also the day of the Brighton parade to celebrate their promotion to the premiership (woop woop) so it was incredibly crowded but I didn’t mind so much, because I got to meet Patrick Ness.

Before we actually got on the train to go to Brighton, a guy dropped a piece of paper (two minutes before the train was scheduled to arrive!) and went onto the tracks to pick it back up. He then climbed up again and, luckily, did not get hit by a train. Was scary though.

The actual getting to the theatre was horrific. We asked a taxi driver to take us there and he told us it was about half an hour away and would cost a tenner, when we were sure it was much nearer. Anyway, we trusted him, and he drove us to this location. When we got out, and asked around, we realised we’d been ripped off. The theatre wasn’t here at all; and it had just gone half past two, the time we were supposed to be at the theatre. I was so stressed.

We called for another taxi and this time the guy took us to the correct location but we had missed fifteen minutes of the talk. It was terrible, really. We could still get in and his talk was so incredible that it felt like it only lasted a few minutes. We were so engrossed! His sense of humour was amazing too. Apparently, he never got any success until his late 30s, but when he did get success, that was because he didn’t think about getting a publishing contract, he wrote because he wanted to write, and it paid off.

After the talk, he did book signings, so I got a copy of his new book ‘Release’ (which I have yet to read), and waited until the massive queue got shorter, then joined it. Once I met him, I asked him a question (technically my mum did because I was too nervous): “if you had to choose, would you choose writing or cats?” I asked him this because I know he loves cats too, like me. He struggled with the answer, but, as he said when he signed the book, he chose writing. I suppose it’s because he makes lots of money from it. To be honest, I’d always choose cats, because I’ve had them my entire life, and I’ve never lived without them. I don’t know how I’d live without them. A certain blogger (*cough* MyMindSpeaksAloud *cough*) said writing too, so I am going to steal her cats.

It was a wonderful experience, despite the earlier stress, and we also went into Primark and brought me some more black and white clothes. I love black and white. it’s just so… black and white.

Thank you for reading this post; I was very excited about going to see him and I’m so happy I did!

Lia

Why I Love Me Tag

This award was created by ThoughtfulTash and I was nominated by Em. Thanks for the nomination, though it’s going to be hard to do. 😛

THE RULES (as stated in Tash’s post)

  • Post the award on your blog
  • Acknowledge the blogger who nominated you
  • Leave a link to the original tag creator (ThoughtfulTash) to get a bit more info about WHY this tag has been made!
  • Write 10 things you love about YOURSELF and WHY
  • Nominate at least 5 other bloggers
  • In the comments of the blog post, spread more self-love with compliments to each other! THE MORE LOVE THE BETTER!

Why I love me:

1. I’m sensitive. I mean, this can be both a negative and a good thing, to be honest. I get overly offended by stuff but it also means that I can be more empathetic with people. When I say that I feel bad for you, or hope that something changes for you, I usually mean it — and I’m not saying it out of pity. I’m saying it because I’m empathising with you. I actually have this weird thing that, whenever someone else is in pain, I can kinda feel it too. Sometimes, I’ll even yell “ow!” when someone else gets hurt. xD

2. I care. When I say I care, I’m talking about something different to being sensitive. It’s to do with my veganism. Today, when me and my mum were having a conversation about leather, I actually started crying because so many cars have leather seats and I can’t really escape it. I can’t escape the money scandal either. I’m just a really passionate person and this makes me feel really angry and sad.

3. My family. I mean, they’re pretty awesome, and they’re a part of me, so… 😀 But really, I love them a ton, and they made me the person I am today. Obviously they didn’t want me to go vegan, but when I decided to, they supported me every step of the way. And through all my mental health issues, they’ve been the ones always here, even if they don’t understand all of what I do.

4. My hair. Whilst it is extremely long (and I’m getting it cut very short soon!), it is also very thick (and hard to brush). It means that I always have volume without hairspray, and that I have enough hair to do whatever I want to it. I’ve only dyed it once (without bleach) so it is currently the natural colour of my hair, which is also quite a nice shade, I think. It’s still blonde but more golden than sunny.

5. My pets. They also make up me so, without them, I’d be lost. Today, I’ve had two cats on my bed for the majority of the day. It was nice.

6. My need for perfection. Whilst this too can be seen as a bad thing, and not many people know that I am a bit of a perfectionist, it also helps a lot with my writing. I used to not hand in homework because it wasn’t good enough, at one stage, so it has been very challenging, but it does help with improving my writing skills.

7. My creativity! The reason I write is because I have a body full of creative energy that needs to leak out. My mum uses art; I use writing. It can be hard to want to do a career that isn’t solid — but my parents support my dreams, and they know that normal jobs are a struggle for me.

8. My super-hearing. I have quite a lot of heightened senses, actually (I can’t be in same area as my mum when she drinks tea, I have to wear sunglasses even in Winter, etc) but my heightened sense of hearing is the only one which can help me with some things. Whilst it can disturb my sleep too, I can also hear secret conversations, like a ninja. Although, most of the time, they’ll never know I heard, and I’ll just carry around as usual… on the floor above them.

9. My sense of style. Because it’s my own style, and I’m not conforming to what other people tell me to wear. It’s comfortable and I think it looks nice too (black and white theme generally) and it isn’t forced upon me. That’s why I like it.

 10. My room. It’s so big!

I realise not all of these might have been explicitly about me but I tried. Also, I try not to say too many nice things about myself in fear that I’ll be thought arrogant because that is definitely one thing I am not! haha…

I nominate A New Chapter mainly as I feel this is her thing (all her blog posts are so positive — minus the latest one, but let’s ignore that one…) but I also nominate everyone who needs a little motivation and self-love. ❤

Day in Southampton!

So on Thursday, me and my mum went up to Southampton to watch, at the mayflower theatre, ‘The Curious Incident of The Dog in The Nighttime’. I’ve read the book so I know what happens. My mum, however, has not and didn’t even realise it was about a dead dog! First off, the acting was amazing. I really believed it. My mum actually thought it was based off fact. The main character was played very well too. Then there was the abstract depiction of autism, which I thought was absolutely stunning. They used lights and music to create a very overwhelming atmosphere, which was to try and make normal people feel how autistic people feel. There was also a real puppy at the end and I wanted to steal it!!

After seeing the play, we went to the Holiday Inn hotel, where we stayed the night. We shared a twin room which I thought was a bit annoying because I couldn’t sleep very well as my mum is a heavy breather and snorer. But, we did get breakfast there, with a very interesting toaster. It worked like a conveyor belt. You put the toast in and it moved along, getting evenly toasted, and then it fell down the other side and you could collect it. I actually got a piece of toast stuck in the toaster because I didn’t understand how to put the toast in at first. I think someone got an extra piece of toast as, when I went back later, it was gone.

We did a lot of shopping when we were there too, at the Westquay shopping centre (which is very complicated to get to unless you know the area). We went to Build-A-Bear and I made a little gangster kitty, despite the fact I am almost eighteen. We went to quite a few places to eat too! For my first lunch, we had a Spudulike (where I had baked beans). For the evening meal, we went to Zizzi, which has always been my favourite pizzeria, due to the fact that its vegan pizzas are stunning.  This was even better than the Chichester Zizzi I usually go to, as the vegan garlic bread had a lot more garlic flavour to it than the one at Chichester. My mum tried a bit of my pizza and she really liked it too. Then, for lunch number two, we went to The Real Greek. I wanted to try some new dishes so ordered this weird chickpea thing which I didn’t like. My mum told them we didn’t like it and immediately they said “we won’t charge for it”. The rest of the dishes were lovely though — the hummus, flatbread, and new potatoes. We gave them a large tip  (more than the usual 10%) for the great customer service.

I also ordered a pretzel from Auntie Anne’s. I’ve never had a massive American pretzel before, so I was quite excited. I had it vanilla-flavoured and it was beautiful.

Overall, I had a wonderful time, and although it was extremely exhausting, it was awesome. I’d do it again — but not for at least a year!

Thanks for reading this post,

Lia

The Reason I’m Still Vegan

So for Christmas 2015, my aunt made me some ice cream. Everything she does is lovely so I was ready to have it. Unfortunately, she’d made one mistake in the ingredients: honey. It’s the thing that a lot of people don’t classify as vegan (I even got a honey sesame snap bar for Christmas 2016!) so they tend to forget about it. I was having a dilemma about honey at that moment because I really didn’t want to disappoint her, she’d gone to so much effort, and at one point I was saying that I’d eat it — but I couldn’t eat it. Even though it was just honey, I felt so much guilt about eating it that I couldn’t. This guilt rises up in my heart and I know that I can’t change my habits.

There are two types of vegans: health vegans and moral vegans. I’m a moral vegan. I also hate breaking promises and I promised myself that I would not be tempted by anything, so I stuck to it. The few occasions I have accidentally had non-vegan stuff made me feel sick to my stomach with the guilt. I just felt like a horrible person, even though I know a lot of you probably eat it without thinking. I’m not trying to turn you, promise! I’m not like that. I’m the only vegan in my family so I’m around non-vegan substances all day. I’m quite proud that I haven’t intentionally had something but I know that if I realised something wasn’t vegan but I felt bad about not eating it, I would still not eat it, literally because of the feeling I get. I made so many mistakes in the first few months but now I’m doing a lot better!

The guilty feeling even comes when I’m eating something that tastes real but isn’t (vegan scrambled eggs!!!) because I feel like I’m breaking my promise, even though I’m not. I care so deeply for other animals, whatever they may be, wherever they may come from, that I find it easy to continue being a vegan. There are a lot of foods I liked before being vegan, but I know that there will always be alternatives, and the alternatives are usually just as good (vegan scrambled eggs, like seriously try them dudes) and I enjoy them a lot. Being a vegan is very personal to me and I am going to be a vegan for as long as I can, and I’m alright with you not being a vegan. We all have different values and we show our support to the causes we really believe in. This is a cause I believe in.

Thank you so much for reading this post,

Lia

100 Followers Q+A [Answers!]

  1. What is your favourite aspect of blogging? 
    Really, it’s just the fact that I can get my thoughts out without being judged much. The community here is so strong that I don’t have to worry about what I say much at all. 🙂
  2. What are your top three pieces of advice for blogging?
    1) I would say don’t try and write everyday! If you want to, then that’s fine, but don’t feel like you have to. You don’t. 🙂
    2) Don’t worry about what people will think. It’s your blog; not theirs. Just as long as you understand there are different opinions, you’ll be fine.
    3) Enjoy it and blog for yourself, not anyone else! Make sure that you are blogging because you want to and because you enjoy it, not because others want you to. Again: it’s your blog.
  3. Favourite milkshake flavour? [Vegan ofc]
    Hmm, chocolate, I guess. I still have chocolate vegan milkshakes sometimes. ^-^
  4. Favourite quote?
    I don’t really know but I’d have to go with “imagination is more important than knowledge” by Einstein because imagination rocks. xD
  5. Something you take with you wherever you go? [Except phone]
    Umm, a jumper. I love my jumpers. Also, sunglasses. Even in winter.
  6. Someone on the planet you can’t live without?
    You didn’t say it had to be a person so Diego + Smiler + Pablo. xD
  7. Your favourite pet?
    HOW DARE THEE?! Diego. He’s the only smart one.
  8. As an aspiring creative writer, whom influences you the most in your work?
    Hmm, this is hard. I’d have to say that, although my writing is quite unlike his, I am fascinated by Shakespeare and I guess that a few ideas come from him. Speaking modernly, I like reading Patrick Ness and Scott Westerfeld; they influence me a lot too.
  9. If you were asked to write for any novel/magazine, what would it be and why?
    This is hard, to be honest, but I’d love to write for a writing magazine or a vegan mag — none specifically, but something in my zone of interest. I want to write for The National Student and might apply once I’ve got something worthwhile aha.
  10. In front of you, you are given the choice of a red and blue pill. You can only choose one pill. The red pill grants you an infinite amount of a drink of your choice. The blue pill grants you an infinite amount of a food type of your choice.

    Using your strategic skills, what pill would you choose and why?

    Right, so this doesn’t say that you can’t make the food into a drink so, therefore, the blue pill and potatoes and then I’d drink potato juice. It’ll be a thing, one day… I’ve never tried it but one day, maybe I will…

  11. What was something unexpected that happened after you started blogging (other than gaining 100 followers)?

    I guess I didn’t expect to get any reads at all. I thought it’d be a dead-end blog, so I am really surprised that people have taken to it! I love you guys 🙂

  12. What song do you most connect to and why?
    This is SUCH a hard question, seriously. Why? Why? I guess, one is “Numb” by Linkin Park. There’s a lot though, that’s just one :3
  13. If it was the end of the world, what would you rather do? Eat a stranger (that’s human) or eat your pets?
    Is this even a question? OBVIOUSLY, I would eat the stranger. Easy choice. 😉
  14. How are you so awesome?
    You made me awesome. Literally, you wired me up, and made me awesome. I am your creation and am forever in your debt.

    Thank you so much for these questions! I love you guys.
    Any more questions that you wanna know? You can just ask anytime. I’ll reply in the comment! Love you ❤
    Lia

 

Game Review: Life is Strange

*Slight spoiler warning*

So, this game was such a massive trend amongst the Steam community that I just had to give it a shot. And I was not disappointed!

The first thing I just have to talk about is the sound track — it is so beautiful and wow and everything and I just love it! Honestly, it is the best game soundtrack I have possibly ever heard.

The graphics are pretty nice too, but the main thing I need to get at is how brilliant the story is.

This game is split into five episodes. You play the game as Max, a nerdy, aspiring photographer who’s just a little bit nosy. She finds out she has these crazy rewind powers and the ability to literally change time. It’s more than just some superhero story though; some terrible stuff goes on at Blackwell. A missing girl, a suicide attempt, and later, the discovery of the dark room…

It’s a game where your choices do matter. They can change a lot of the story but, ultimately, you discover that there’s one thing that cannot be changed: destiny. It was such an emotional thing too. Like, when you discover who the real psychopath is. That’s pretty darn shocking.

To be honest, I would love for the company who made this game to make so many more games like this because they are so brilliant. This game was brilliant. It was so moving and the story was the best part.

I wish I had rewind powers, to be honest. That’d be cool.

Do you want more posts like this? Or not? Comment below 🙂

Lia