What Am I Doing With My Life?

So, two people in one day asked me the same question: what am I doing with my life? One conversation went something like this:

Them: Are you going to university?

Me: No.

Them: Are you working?

Me: No.

Them: Are you breathing…?

The other conversation was just a catch-up with an old friend, whom seems to have a really cool job as a teaching assistant with tiny children. I love children, so that seems fun. We talked a lot about our pets, and then about what we’re doing at the moment.

Anyway, it made me realise that people don’t understand me that well at all. These people that I’m friends with aren’t very similar to me. There is one friend I have who is very similar to me but we don’t meet up much, and it’s pretty much just her emailing me jokes that make me laugh. She thinks they’re not funny but they’re really my types of jokes!

So, I don’t have any prospects. I’m just an eighteen-year-old living with her parents. A lot of eighteen-year-olds live with their parents still, so I’m not too abnormal yet. My brother lives with my parents too — he’s nineteen! FYI: My mum moved out of her parent’s house at nineteen. I wish my brother took after her, because I really like the quiet. Just thinking is nice. And I can’t just think because he is constantly loud. I think I’ve complained about it a few times in blog posts… I have hyper-senses due to my autism, so every little sound really disturbs me! And he doesn’t even try to be quiet sometimes. The noise can be so loud…

Sorry for getting off topic! Basically, I think I should tell everyone a little thing about me: I don’t find it easy doing most jobs, or going to university. Both things involve interaction, and I have constant anxiety over every little thing, so something like that really wouldn’t work for me. I don’t know if I’ll get a job somewhen in the future, but right now, I don’t want one. I know that it would send my anxiety levels skyrocketing and my parents are fully supportive of me in everything I do. They want me to try working on my writing, but honestly, I’ve been stuck for ideas lately. Somewhen, I might go to university, or the open university, but it isn’t this year, or next. People need to live life at their own pace.

Not everyone should feel pressured to do what everyone else their age is doing. Sure, other people my age are at university or at a job: that isn’t me. Not right now, anyway. I have autism and it limits many of my social skills. Lots of people with autism do go to work or university, but I don’t find it works for me at the moment. I’m also pretty tired a lot of the time. I don’t know why, it’s kinda undiagnosed, but it stops me from being able to just go out and do things.

Remember that you shouldn’t feel like you have to do what the world is doing. You should do your own thing, be your own person. You can go to university if you want, that’s cool, but you should do it because you want to do it, not because everyone else is doing it. You can wait a year or two to try and figure out what you want to do in life. I want to be a cat, but unfortunately I haven’t figured out how yet. Maybe, one day…

Thanks for reading,

Lia

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The Recipe Of Me Tag

This tag was created by cakeandpoetry and I was nominated by leo.

The Rules:

  • Tag me as the creator
  • Tag 5 other people (i’m being nice ok). This means you can’t just say ‘i’m tired anyone do this’ (i’m looking at you leo)
  • Be a unicorn today because optimist yo
  • Give a method that you feel is the ‘recipe of you’.

    So, how do you get one Lia?

  • Make sure the recipe is vegan, or it wouldn’t be Lia at all.
  • Start off by pouring a load of passion into a small bowl, so that it overflows. She isn’t very balanced.
  • Add a dash of insecurity. Wait, no, not a dash. A bit more. Just a little more… STOP! I SAID STOP! Why aren’t you stopping? Ugh, just pour it all in.
  • Sprinkle over anxiety… Stop. Stop. Again? Really? -_-
  • Add a dollop of social awkwardness and autism. A generous serving.
  • Make sure to mix in some ink.
  • Just a touch of sugar. She isn’t all bad.
  • Get rid of a little of the passion and replace it with determination.
  • Get some tiredness.
  • Finish it off by whisking in cat whiskers.
  • Make sure not to overcook it. Oh no, it’s raw. Leave it be.

    And that is how you get one Lia. 🙂

    I tag MyMindSpeaksAloud A New Chapter Rose because they all need to post more often.