Escapril: A Happy Place

the most beautiful
the most happy
the most wonderful
place in the world
isn’t a garden, or a house,
it isn’t a place
you can walk to
or look at,
the happiest place, to me,
is where only I can enter,
a secret tunnel,
and it’s right in the centre
of my mind.
you can’t find my happy place
but you can find yours
inside.

Dear Eve: A New Idea

Before I start, I want to say thank you to Kel for inspiring me and allowing me to do this. He recently started a letter series addressed to someone called Joe, whom is made up, and I thought it was a really good idea. It helps you to get your thoughts out there. I’ve done a few letters in the past, but never directed towards a fictitious person, so I think it’s a really great idea. You can say exactly what’s on your mind, but also feel like you’re expressing it to someone, even if they’re imaginary. I hope this series works out for me too, and please go check out his blog!

Dear Eve,

I know you don’t know me yet but you will know me. You aren’t real and yet I feel like I’m talking to someone. This is my first letter to you and I hope there will be many more.

Do you like cats, Eve? Back in August I visited a cat cafe for the first time in my life, in London. My anxiety was high about going to London as it’s such a big city but it turned out okay I think. The cats were cute anyway. I wonder, would you be a cat person or a dog person? I have both cats and a dog but I’d consider myself a cat person. I do the ‘would I have one if I lived by myself?’ test. As I live with my family, it is easier for me to have a dog, but I don’t think I would be able to deal with one if I lived by myself. The training and walkies would be too much for me, I think. Cats, however, would definitely be there. That’s why I’m a cat person. Cats also don’t bark whenever the bell rings, unlike a certain pomchi.

I guess you could call me an anxious person, Eve. I think a lot. Too much. Even when I know a solid plan, I think about the many, many ways in which it could go wrong. For instance, I am going to a board game club (yay social life) and I am going to take a game that I quite like — Catopoly (I told you I’m a cat person) which is basically cat monopoly. However, I am extremely worried that no one else will like the game and it will be boring for them. I know some of them for sure like cats but I don’t know if they’ll like this game.

About the social life thing: I might go to a couple of clubs, but I’m not a very social person. Outside of that, there isn’t much I do. I do sometimes have a social life outside of these clubs but it is infrequent. The reason I started going to these clubs was because I wasn’t going out at all. I just didn’t want you to get the wrong impression of me, Eve. I wouldn’t want to lie to you about being a high-flying social butterfly.

Our house has been on the market for over a year and it still hasn’t sold. It did sell for a bit but then the buyer decided she actually couldn’t afford it so it’s been back on for a while now. It’s stressing me out, the viewings. Often, there is little warning of them and I love notice. So when there’s hardly any notice that I have to leave the house for the viewing, it stresses me out. I’m stressed a lot lately. There’s another viewing soon but I was given an acceptable amount of warning for it. It’s still stressful but less so than if I had been given less warning. We always have to take the dog out as he isn’t the friendliest to ‘intruders of our house’ (basically people he deems to be in his territory). We have a good guard dog. If someone ever attempts to break in, we will know before they get in the door.

I’m feeling quite tired now, Eve. Did you like my first letter? I hope it was okay for you. I really want to talk to you more in future letters. I write this in my bed, at half-past midnight, because I always find my thoughts most cluttered in the night. Thanks for helping me decluttering them, Eve, by letting me write you this letter.

Love,

Lia

When I Was Younger

When I was younger, one time I went to my aunt’s house (probably for Christmas, as is the tradition), and my cousin’s boyfriend-at-the-time was there. He was a vegan and I’d never met a real-life vegan before. I didn’t understand veganism. Why on Earth would anyone choose tofu over bacon? I was definitely a lover of meat and a lover of cakes. I was your typical kid! Also, why was he not sitting on the perfectly-comfortable leather sofa?

Gradually, as the years went on, I realised that he wasn’t from an alien race. He just had different beliefs. I became a vegetarian one year, vegan the next, because of my beliefs. My brother and my dad eat meat and I’m okay with that, so when a friend apologises to me for eating meat in front of me, I’m used to it, and they shouldn’t be apologising. I want to get rid of the barrier that’s blocking meat-eaters and vegans. I want to hang with someone without having to explain why I’m not eating the same things as them. I want our beliefs to be separate and not to get mixed up, because that causes me tension. When people question my beliefs, I want to just shut my ears!

It. is. my. choice. 

Also, please don’t think negatively of all vegans because a few have pushed their beliefs strongly onto you and you’re sick of it. Living with meat-eaters, if I strangled them every time they ate meat, it’d be a daily habit! I don’t mind that they eat meat either. Obviously, I’d prefer it if I lived in a vegan household, for dinner conveniences, but them eating meat: that is their choice. I’m not going to blow up their choice and they shouldn’t blow up mine.

We make choices everyday. We have different beliefs. Yet, we continue as one society. Isn’t that something to be savoured, not destroyed? Terrorism is saying there is only one way to live, and that isn’t true. I believe we can all live in the way that makes us happiest. If that’s eating meat, or not, or eating cheese, or not, then just do it! I might believe one thing, you might believe another; I might cry when I think about how some animals suffer for this, you might not think about it at all — but we can live in harmony. We can live together, whatever.

I’m adopting a jaguar this year, for Christmas. Last year, it was a Snow Leopard for my birthday. I just want to make those creatures have a happy life, like us. That’s what makes me happy, so that is important. Whatever makes you happy is important too. 🙂

What makes you happy?

Smile [Poem]

Trust me,

I’m here,

Waiting for you to smile —

and I’m not leaving

until you do.

I might not be smiling myself,

But that doesn’t mean you can’t;

Don’t be a sheep,

be the one mouth that does

rise.

I’m waiting for you

to laugh and to conquer

but I’m also waiting for you to

see the roses in your

heart.

Happy Birthday!

So it is my friend and fellow blogger’s (although recent!) birthday today. A New Chapter is one of my closest real life friends, making me smile when I thought I couldn’t, making me laugh over anything. She’s pretty awesome.

I just think she needs to understand how awesome she is, and how awesome she has been for the last seventeen years – how she is a better contribution to the world, spreading rainbow dust wherever she goes and all that. Her presence can make anyone, even the grumpiest, be happy. She’s a wonderful person, truly, and I’m so lucky to have her as my friend.

I got her a mindfulness activity book thing for her birthday and some felt tips but I thought that that wasn’t enough for how amazing she is so I decided to do this post. I will never be able to express how much she has helped me over the years but I’m just glad that she has a part in my life, and I’m sure that everyone else who is in her life feels the same.

Thank you and happy birthday to you. 🙂

You’re awesome.