19 and Not Ready

So, today is my 19th birthday. I feel like this age doesn’t suit me. I don’t feel 19; I feel a lot younger. I always struggle with growing up because certain expectations are thrown at you. Like, I’m too old for certain things, so I look at it longingly in the store but won’t get it because I’d be judged. I love childish games.

Age isn’t just a number. I know that’s the statement, but it always feels like it’s supposed to define your character, and that shouldn’t be the case. Just because you’re 70, doesn’t mean you are supposed to read the newspaper and do gardening. And being 19 shouldn’t mean going out partying, drinking, and going to uni. I don’t do any of those things by the way. It’s alright if you do, but it shouldn’t be defined by your age. It should be defined by whether you want to do these things.

Why is so much stuff age-defined? Everything you buy has a certain type of buyer and if you don’t fall into that category, sometimes you can get judged. I fear judgement from everyone so I don’t even talk about the things that would make me most happy. I just have a young heart.

Thank you for reading,

Lia

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