Every year, we have resolutions and a lot of us break them. I’ve decided not to have any resolutions this year because they’re really bad for my mental health and they make me want to better myself, rather than accepting myself the way I am. I think it’s okay for people to have resolutions, as long as they don’t push themselves beyond their limit. When you’re like me, resolutions can mean serious emotional torment. I usually fail them anyway.
There’s so much that I could do, but I don’t want to get unhealthy habits by obsessing over things I could improve about myself.
I’ve got a lot of flaws so there are a lot of things I could say about what I want to improve. But I don’t want to. I’ve stopped wanting to better myself. I’ve learned that if others don’t love you for how you are now, then they aren’t worth it. And everything has always been about other people for me. What will they think? That’s such an unhealthy thought process and, due to anxiety, I don’t think I can ever fully eliminate that thought from my mind — but I can start caring about my life again.
Obviously, if I happen to change when doing other things, then that will happen, but I won’t focus my entire being on trying to change myself. I’ve always wanted to change myself and I’m just done with that now.
So here’s to 2019 and another year of being me.