Connections

I’ve been thinking about how everyone is connected. I am connected to so many people through other people and it’s kinda disturbing. It’s connections that cause rumours and gossip. My mum has had that situation going and I am tangled in the same string as her. Fully grown adults have been making her feel bad recently, and it’s all through connections. I’m worried that one day the same thing might happen to me; I might end up being caught in a net that I can’t swim out of. A net of people I used to know who remember me but don’t want to because their past is their past.

It’s interesting, isn’t it? I’ve worked out that even people closest to me can be lead down a completely different web and still end up connected to me. Everyone is, in someway, connected to me.

The most worrying but also the most fascinating thing is knowing that I am connected to people the other side of the world. If not because my mum’s best friend emigrated there, then because of some other connection. There are millions.

We are all connected.

A Letter to a Friend

Dear Queen, as I’m going to call you in this letter,

I know you’re struggling right now, which is why you’re distant and barely reachable. I know you don’t have any plans. I know you feel like nothing interests you at the moment. I know you feel low and stressed. I know you’re scared. I want you to know that you are not the only one who doesn’t know what to become.

You’re the smartest girl I know, and I always wondered why you’d cry before exams when you always aced them. But I know why: you were stressed and you put so much pressure on yourself to do well that it all got too much.  You might be doubting yourself but I don’t doubt you.

I, too, am afraid of the future. I, too, struggle to find my ambition. I’m not going to university next year either. If you want to talk to anyone about this, talk to me, because I know what you’re going through. I know what it feels like to not have any clear goals. Of course, there is my writing, but realistically speaking, that’s going to be nearly impossible to accomplish.

I know you don’t talk to me as much recently, and I know you haven’t really been saying much to other people, but it’s important you remember that we all love you and we all care. You are so beautiful and fantastic and I’m so proud that you’re my friend.

Please, text me, or email me, or meet up with me sometime — you are appreciated. You are. I understand how troubling it can be thinking about your future; I’m in the same boat and sometimes I cry about it. But at least I have my writing to let my feelings loose. You really need someone to talk to, I think, though you’re scared to admit it. You’re awesome, Queen, and whilst you’re still going to doubt that, remember that no one else does.

Yours truly,

Lia

Why I Love Me Tag

This award was created by ThoughtfulTash and I was nominated by Em. Thanks for the nomination, though it’s going to be hard to do. 😛

THE RULES (as stated in Tash’s post)

  • Post the award on your blog
  • Acknowledge the blogger who nominated you
  • Leave a link to the original tag creator (ThoughtfulTash) to get a bit more info about WHY this tag has been made!
  • Write 10 things you love about YOURSELF and WHY
  • Nominate at least 5 other bloggers
  • In the comments of the blog post, spread more self-love with compliments to each other! THE MORE LOVE THE BETTER!

Why I love me:

1. I’m sensitive. I mean, this can be both a negative and a good thing, to be honest. I get overly offended by stuff but it also means that I can be more empathetic with people. When I say that I feel bad for you, or hope that something changes for you, I usually mean it — and I’m not saying it out of pity. I’m saying it because I’m empathising with you. I actually have this weird thing that, whenever someone else is in pain, I can kinda feel it too. Sometimes, I’ll even yell “ow!” when someone else gets hurt. xD

2. I care. When I say I care, I’m talking about something different to being sensitive. It’s to do with my veganism. Today, when me and my mum were having a conversation about leather, I actually started crying because so many cars have leather seats and I can’t really escape it. I can’t escape the money scandal either. I’m just a really passionate person and this makes me feel really angry and sad.

3. My family. I mean, they’re pretty awesome, and they’re a part of me, so… 😀 But really, I love them a ton, and they made me the person I am today. Obviously they didn’t want me to go vegan, but when I decided to, they supported me every step of the way. And through all my mental health issues, they’ve been the ones always here, even if they don’t understand all of what I do.

4. My hair. Whilst it is extremely long (and I’m getting it cut very short soon!), it is also very thick (and hard to brush). It means that I always have volume without hairspray, and that I have enough hair to do whatever I want to it. I’ve only dyed it once (without bleach) so it is currently the natural colour of my hair, which is also quite a nice shade, I think. It’s still blonde but more golden than sunny.

5. My pets. They also make up me so, without them, I’d be lost. Today, I’ve had two cats on my bed for the majority of the day. It was nice.

6. My need for perfection. Whilst this too can be seen as a bad thing, and not many people know that I am a bit of a perfectionist, it also helps a lot with my writing. I used to not hand in homework because it wasn’t good enough, at one stage, so it has been very challenging, but it does help with improving my writing skills.

7. My creativity! The reason I write is because I have a body full of creative energy that needs to leak out. My mum uses art; I use writing. It can be hard to want to do a career that isn’t solid — but my parents support my dreams, and they know that normal jobs are a struggle for me.

8. My super-hearing. I have quite a lot of heightened senses, actually (I can’t be in same area as my mum when she drinks tea, I have to wear sunglasses even in Winter, etc) but my heightened sense of hearing is the only one which can help me with some things. Whilst it can disturb my sleep too, I can also hear secret conversations, like a ninja. Although, most of the time, they’ll never know I heard, and I’ll just carry around as usual… on the floor above them.

9. My sense of style. Because it’s my own style, and I’m not conforming to what other people tell me to wear. It’s comfortable and I think it looks nice too (black and white theme generally) and it isn’t forced upon me. That’s why I like it.

 10. My room. It’s so big!

I realise not all of these might have been explicitly about me but I tried. Also, I try not to say too many nice things about myself in fear that I’ll be thought arrogant because that is definitely one thing I am not! haha…

I nominate A New Chapter mainly as I feel this is her thing (all her blog posts are so positive — minus the latest one, but let’s ignore that one…) but I also nominate everyone who needs a little motivation and self-love. ❤

To The Girls Who Wear Glass Slippers

To the girls who wear glass slippers:
does the shoe fit?
Does it slide on gracefully, or did you have to sand your foot again and again – until the skin rubbed off – just to get it to slide in uncomfortably?
Is that glue I see, crushed into the slipper, so that your foot won’t hang out?
What’s that – rope? Tying your foot to it, are you?
It might be convenient to dig your foot into the first glass slipper you see, dear, but is your foot okay with it? Does it dangle or quench for air? Does it walk smoothly, without blisters?

To the girls who wear glass slippers:
don’t shape your foot. It isn’t clay.
There might be a prince around someday, a boy who passes you a glass slipper, and asks you to try it on. He might have the medals dangling around his neck, gold rings tightened to his fingers, money waddling around in his pocket – he might have all that, but if the shoe does not fit, then he is not a prince. He is merely an impostor; a concoction of stolen awards, gold paint, and forged money.

To the girls who wear glass slippers:
if the shoe fits, wear it.

Day in Southampton!

So on Thursday, me and my mum went up to Southampton to watch, at the mayflower theatre, ‘The Curious Incident of The Dog in The Nighttime’. I’ve read the book so I know what happens. My mum, however, has not and didn’t even realise it was about a dead dog! First off, the acting was amazing. I really believed it. My mum actually thought it was based off fact. The main character was played very well too. Then there was the abstract depiction of autism, which I thought was absolutely stunning. They used lights and music to create a very overwhelming atmosphere, which was to try and make normal people feel how autistic people feel. There was also a real puppy at the end and I wanted to steal it!!

After seeing the play, we went to the Holiday Inn hotel, where we stayed the night. We shared a twin room which I thought was a bit annoying because I couldn’t sleep very well as my mum is a heavy breather and snorer. But, we did get breakfast there, with a very interesting toaster. It worked like a conveyor belt. You put the toast in and it moved along, getting evenly toasted, and then it fell down the other side and you could collect it. I actually got a piece of toast stuck in the toaster because I didn’t understand how to put the toast in at first. I think someone got an extra piece of toast as, when I went back later, it was gone.

We did a lot of shopping when we were there too, at the Westquay shopping centre (which is very complicated to get to unless you know the area). We went to Build-A-Bear and I made a little gangster kitty, despite the fact I am almost eighteen. We went to quite a few places to eat too! For my first lunch, we had a Spudulike (where I had baked beans). For the evening meal, we went to Zizzi, which has always been my favourite pizzeria, due to the fact that its vegan pizzas are stunning.  This was even better than the Chichester Zizzi I usually go to, as the vegan garlic bread had a lot more garlic flavour to it than the one at Chichester. My mum tried a bit of my pizza and she really liked it too. Then, for lunch number two, we went to The Real Greek. I wanted to try some new dishes so ordered this weird chickpea thing which I didn’t like. My mum told them we didn’t like it and immediately they said “we won’t charge for it”. The rest of the dishes were lovely though — the hummus, flatbread, and new potatoes. We gave them a large tip  (more than the usual 10%) for the great customer service.

I also ordered a pretzel from Auntie Anne’s. I’ve never had a massive American pretzel before, so I was quite excited. I had it vanilla-flavoured and it was beautiful.

Overall, I had a wonderful time, and although it was extremely exhausting, it was awesome. I’d do it again — but not for at least a year!

Thanks for reading this post,

Lia