Anxiety

I usually talk to my mum; she’s so caring and supportive, but she goes through her own issues too. When she goes through them, I can’t talk to her because it would just be another issue. For instance, she’s recently been having anxiety. What pushed her over the edge was a person she used to go to school with swearing at her when she was walking Pablo. She doesn’t want to have to worry about stuff like that anymore. So she hasn’t been able to go out of the house alone, which is really awful. 

Because of this, I can’t talk to her about my own anxiety. I get so anxious sometimes that I do irrational things and then hate myself. When I talk with my mum, she helps me be less irrational. But now that I can’t talk to her again, I’ve gone back to old habits, and have probably lost friends because of a meltdown I had. When I feel like this, I also kind of want to not live anymore — not die, just not live. Like not existing. If I didn’t exist, I wouldn’t have to worry so much about everything! Of course, I do exist, and I will always have existed, so not existing isn’t an option. 

I don’t really have anyone I can talk to now because I don’t want to bother anyone, especially my mum, so I am just thinking negatively all the time. I hope I can get over this but I know that, from my experience, I get over it for a few weeks and then it comes back again. My anxiety is just always there, waiting for me to mess up, so it can scream at me over and over again. I don’t even have to mess up, I just have to be in a situation where there is the possibility of messing up, which is pretty much every situation. 

How do you deal with your anxiety?

Lia

14 thoughts on “Anxiety

  1. I honestly find it so hard to deal with my anxiety especially during a panic attack! The way I deal with it try talking to someone who’s going through the same time. My Friends and my internet friends are always so helpful but I also search the web for other ways to deal with it.

    Liked by 2 people

  2. Anxiety sucks! I’m sorry you’re going through this at the moment, especially when you feel like you have nobody to talk to. It makes things so much harder, doesn’t it?
    I don’t really have ways of dealing with my anxiety–other than being ridiculously hard on myself, and that doesn’t help, anyway–but I’m sure Google will come up with something that might help you? Grounding techniques or something when you’re having a panic/anxiety attack or something?
    If you need someone to talk to, I’m always on Twitter if you want to DM me.

    Liked by 2 people

  3. If I am too anxious… well, I self-harm. It is not like I cut or anything but I do scratch my arms till they are red and full of horrid blisters. And that sucks and it makes me cry even more 😦 But, then, I find ways to overcome it for a while.

    If I am just mad and feel like no one is understanding me, I scribble stuff in my drawing journal. I scribble really hard, till I feel that I am calmer. That helps, but it wastes pages too xD

    ~Snow

    Liked by 2 people

    1. And, I also wanna tell you that I am sorry you are going through anxiety, Lia :/ I just came over mine (temporarily) last week. It is horrible and I hope you and your Mum feel better soon 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

  4. At times I find it really hard to deal with, because I don’t feel like people understand. But, I have found that writing helps me. Also, talking to a friend or family. If they just listen to you it may make you feel better! hope that helps x

    Liked by 1 person

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s