Change and Autism

We all go through change — everyone, whether it’s moving house or just trying a new cereal, it’s all the same thing: change. Change can be minor or major but, in the end, it can change a lot of other things as well. For instance, I changed as a person when I transferred school in year nine. I made some really good friends there and that made me gain confidence. However, my confidence has dropped again since starting college.

Change, to most people, can be a daunting thing; you don’t know what to expect from it. For instance, if I had been allowed to vote, I would have voted in for the EU referendum, because of the change that leaving would entail. We left and I’m having to adjust to that. On the other hand, today we went to a new cafe I have not been in before (as opposed to the usual one we go to) and I was really sad and had a mini-meltdown because it wasn’t the normal one. Then my food came and it was so well-presented and nice and they’d really taken into consideration my veganism that I just couldn’t hate the cafe. I realised that it was actually quite nice. It just wasn’t what I was used to.

If you’re autistic, change is an even more terrifying thought, because we like routine and to have an interruption to that routine makes us intensely stressed. At college, I have always had the same teacher and the same class for English and that is nice for me because it is the same. I have however had five teachers in total so far for creative writing, as well as the classes merging at the beginning of the year (making a massive class, which I can’t stand) and it really feels like they don’t care about our happiness: just funding. The change has really impacted me in a negative way so much so that I haven’t been to college as much as I should be. I also haven’t been because I have to read a potentially-triggering book in English. So, basically, my attendance is bad.

I cried my first day of creative writing, at the break, (though I didn’t tell anyone and only one teacher noticed and she kept pestering me but I was just like “no I don’t need anyone k thanks”) because the change was so extreme. It doesn’t seem like they have taken into consideration what effect this could have on me and my class. I think everyone hates the change but it is just annoying for the rest of the class: for me, it’s terrifying.

Change is hard but sometimes you have to adapt to the change in environment, survival of the fittest and all that, though sometimes, if it’s negative change that could have been prevented, it feels like there is no one who understands the agony it causes me. If I get anxious over a change in cafes, just imagine me adapting to my. fifth. teacher. Not all change is negative though, remember that. Changing schools was one of the best things that happened to me because I met A New Chapter and another really cool person who doesn’t have a blog.

How do you feel about change?

Lia

15 thoughts on “Change and Autism

  1. I’m glad that moving schools and meeting me was a good change for you. I’m glad to have met you as well! ❤ Who would have thought that sitting next to each other in English would spark such a great friendship? Change is always scary but sometimes it's a risk we all have to take xx

    Liked by 1 person

  2. I’m with you; I hate change. I wish things could remain the same forever, but then, like you, I wouldn’t have done some of the amazing things I’ve done in my life. Transitioning back into a new routine after summer is always so daunting though; I hope you manage to sort out college soon! X

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Yeah change sucks and sometimes it doesn’t get better but sometimes it does and those moments are nice. You never know what the outcome’s gonna be though; that’s the scary thing about it. :3

      Liked by 1 person

  3. Change can be so difficult – I can tell it’s really tricky for you, but the thing is, you KNOW that sometimes you won’t be able to deal with it and that’s okay. I’m vproud of you for posting about it 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Hey! I just discovered your blog from Elm’s and it’s great!!! I changed school in year nine too, although it was towards the very end (literally on the last three days). And personally, I love change. I just really like learning and experiencing the different things that life has to offer😀 Also, I think it’s amazing that you acknowledge the fact that change can not only be a bad thing, but also a good thing! 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    1. mine was towards the end too; but a couple of weeks, not three days haha! Yeah change can be good but for me it’s always so scary. Sometimes you just have to deal with it and hope for the best ^-^ Thanks so much for your comment!

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Exactly…sometimes change is inevitable and you just have to find your coping mechanism to adapt and deal with the situation. No problem! 🙂

        Liked by 1 person

  5. Pingback: Bamboo Chewer

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s