I realised I haven’t actually done a post on this yet so here I go. Just over a week ago, I received my AS results. Now, I did alright, really, considering, but I was so upset when I took the exams. Two out of three of them made me feel uncomfortable through reasons I couldn’t help. I think I’ve remarked before about how one invigilator made me feel uncomfortable and the other exam was really noisy and loads of people were outside it.
So, I got my results back, and I’d gotten a D in my creative writing exam (a C overall in both English exams — one was fine, the other was the loud and noisy exam). I was getting As throughout the year in creative writing so this made me really upset. I was happy with the C in English but I just couldn’t accept the D in that creative writing exam. Luckily, due to my grade A coursework in creative writing, overall I got a B. Although a B is really good, I am going to retake the exam because I know I can do better. The exam was awful because of how the invigilator made me feel and next time I’m getting my tutor to invigilate my exams, so that should be better. I just want my grades to add up. If I had been getting Bs throughout the year, maybe I would have accepted the D, but I was much more capable than a D.
I know I often talk down about myself and that, usually, I’d say “see, this D is my real ability” but I’m starting to see that I am alright. My grades show it; my coursework shows it, and I want to prove to myself that I can get another good grade in the exam. I can do it, which is why I’m going to retake. If I believe I can do it, then I’m already halfway there, aren’t I?
I’ve also been looking at a lot of results from fellow bloggers and gasping in awe at their GCSE results because mine were nowhere near as good! I’m so proud of you guys for your awesome results. 🙂