The World According To I

I can see things you can’t see,

Like the moon rising before the sun has drowned,

I can see the grass dying whilst it is living,

I can see the ocean disintegrating,

I can see the world falling,

and no one can see it but me,

so I will cry whilst you all smile,

so I will try for a while,

whilst you don’t need to try,

so I will let it be because otherwise

i must be crazy.

AS Results

I realised I haven’t actually done a post on this yet so here I go. Just over a week ago, I received my AS results. Now, I did alright, really, considering, but I was so upset when I took the exams. Two out of three of them made me feel uncomfortable through reasons I couldn’t help. I think I’ve remarked before about how one invigilator made me feel uncomfortable and the other exam was really noisy and loads of people were outside it.

So, I got my results back, and I’d gotten a D in my creative writing exam (a C overall in both English exams — one was fine, the other was the loud and noisy exam). I was getting As throughout the year in creative writing so this made me really upset. I was happy with the C in English but I just couldn’t accept the D in that creative writing exam. Luckily, due to my grade A coursework in creative writing, overall I got a B. Although a B is really good, I am going to retake the exam because I know I can do better. The exam was awful because of how the invigilator made me feel and next time I’m getting my tutor to invigilate my exams, so that should be better. I just want my grades to add up. If I had been getting Bs throughout the year, maybe I would have accepted the D, but I was much more capable than a D.

I know I often talk down about myself and that, usually, I’d say “see, this D is my real ability” but I’m starting to see that I am alright. My grades show it; my coursework shows it, and I want to prove to myself that I can get another good grade in the exam. I can do it, which is why I’m going to retake. If I believe I can do it, then I’m already halfway there, aren’t I?

I’ve also been looking at a lot of results from fellow bloggers and gasping in awe at their GCSE results because mine were nowhere near as good! I’m so proud of you guys for your awesome results. 🙂

Lia

Below [Poem]

I am crawling,

Whilst you are striding,

I am falling,

Whilst you are climbing,

I am drowning,

Whilst you are floating,

I am dying,

Whilst you are breathing,

I am gone,

Whilst you are opaque.

The Blogger’s Story Award

Before I start, I need to give an explanation for my recent absence. As some of you might have noticed, I haven’t been on recently, and that’s because my laptop broke. It is fixed now though and so I can do posts again! Woo!

Firstly, I need to thank my awesome friend A New Chapter for nominating me! She is awesome and you need to go follow her, k?

the-bloggers-story-award.jpg

Rules:

  • Thank the person who nominated you
  • Showcase the award photo
  • Answer the questions
  • Nominate 3+ bloggers

    What’s your blog name and why did you call it that?

My blog name is Bamboo Chewer. Originally, it was Chewing Bamboo, but in an irrational moment of anxiety, I deleted that blog! [The next day I decided I’d made a mistake and then oops I couldn’t get it back so I had to create a new one. xD] I called it that because my pen name that I used on another site, though I have recently deactivated that, has used the idea of being a “panda”, so I like the idea of pandas in general. As well as this, being a vegan, I have a similar vegetation to pandas (in regards to not eating meat etc — I don’t eat bamboo aha ;P) and I also love to nap! I just love pandas, to be honest.

How long have you been blogging?

Oh a while now! I started in February but, as you know, I did delete my first blog — so this blog has been open for less time. So that’s about half a year! Wow!

How many followers do you have?

I currently have 85 followers! Thank you guys ❤

Who was your first follower?

On this blog, It was My Mind Speaks Aloud, and she is also one of my best friends. Please check her out! She’s amazing and I love her and I’m probably going to steal her cats sometime soon. 😉

What got you into blogging?

Me and my friend Thirteen Purple Roses decided to start blogging together as practice/revision for our creative writing a-level. It’s not something you can really learn so we thought that starting a blog was the perfect way to practice for the exams! It has also become such a passion for me and I love blogging! 🙂

What is your favourite part of blogging?

The community! Everyone is so lovely and welcoming to new bloggers. I always worried about getting followers and comments but I didn’t need to worry because everyone has been so lovely! 🙂 Also, I feel like I can really say whatever I want without the blogging community judging me, which is just awesome! 😀

If you could change one thing about WordPress, what would it be?

A private messaging feature. I have met a lot of lovely bloggers on here who I can’t really talk to outside of WordPress, but unfortunately, there is no way to get to know them better! I need a private messaging feature! Haha 🙂

Why do you continue to blog?

All of my friends asking me when my next post is due (and some, who don’t have blogs, sending me awesome messages in response to my blogs), all you lot with your awesome comments, the fact that it’s fun! Just a lot of reasons really 🙂

Nominations:

OK OK, so I know she has already been nominated but I do this thing of double-nominating her so she’ll do it sooner: My Mind Speaks Aloud 😉

I also nominate Thirteen Purple Roses

My third nomination is, um, you… you there! You, you, you. xD

Thank you for reading this,

Lia

A-Levels Rule…

There is this annoying thing about A-Levels called “work” and the “work” that is involved in A-Levels is not the same kind of “work” we had in GCSEs.

In GCSEs, sure it was tough, sure we’d get detentions if we didn’t hand it in on time: but it was manageable. I’m on my summer break, have been for a couple of months, and I’ve got work to do and it is so hard.

My creative writing is alright but it’s the English that’s suffocating me. We have to do this essay and I have no clue what to do for it. You have to think up the subject entirely by yourself and then you have to hunt for an article to compare it to, before you even write the essay.

Like, how am I expected to find an article that’s good enough for comparison? I don’t know. I haven’t even started the essay yet and I already can’t do it because I don’t have an article. I’ve been searching for days but there’s not really anything worthwhile.

This is for my coursework too, so it’s pretty important.

:c

Rumours

The one thing you need to know about rumours is that they are just that: rumours. Even if you’re skeptical or you can image so-and-so doing what was said — that doesn’t make it true. And continuing the rumours doesn’t help the situation at all.

If you believe a rumour, you are the one in the wrong, unless you have solid evidence. It doesn’t matter if the person actually did it; if you have no evidence, then you are the one in the wrong. It’s something you just can’t believe. A lot of these rumours are, in actual fact, Chinese whispers. You hear one thing and then suddenly it becomes something completely different! So there may be a little bit of truth to it but rarely is it as bad as you hear.

I know I have heard a lot of rumours in my life, and I’ve been subject to them too, and so many are just ridiculous: but people believe them. Usually, they believe them because the person who told them was someone they trust.

Rumours can destroy people. They destroy relationships, friendships, family… They destroy! And the rumour isn’t what destroys it — rather, that is the starting point; the real thing that does it is trust. You trust that someone you are close to will not believe a rumour over you, but sometimes they do, and that’s what breaks any form of relationship. The realisation that they don’t trust you like you thought they did.

Just don’t believe rumours, ever.

Rumours might be true, they might be false, they might be a mixture — but you don’t know and, until you do, just leave them out in the sun to melt away. 🙂

Thank you for reading this post,

Lia

I try

I try to be a nice person. I try. It isn’t enough though because people still think I’m terrible. I was trying to do a nice thing by commenting on this girl I know’s blog regularly, making her know someone was reading it, and giving her nice comments. I was just trying to be nice. I did it anonymously though, so she didn’t know who had said the nice things. She replied to me at the time, thanking me and whatnot.

I checked her blog again today only to find she’d deleted all my comments. Every single one. Every single nice comment I’d made. I’m just done.

I’m obviously not a nice person. I try to be but I probably won’t ever be. I’m just nothing, I guess. Just nothing.