My dad

Yesterday, me and my dad had a huge row. He was going on about me snacking, as he often does (I was having some hummus and Pringles), and I was fed up of him always going on about it. Then, he called me fat.

Now, my BMI says I’m in the normal, healthy range and all my friends say I’m a good weight (though they might just be being nice) — but this is my dad. My dad called me fat. My own dad. I was crying and telling him to leave me alone but he wouldn’t even give me space. I’ve suffered with bullying and self-esteem issues a lot in my life and he knows that, yet he continues to obsess over this.

I don’t know what to believe, to be honest; I told my cousin (whom has suffered from an eating disorder for quite a few years now) and she told me he was mad, that he should not be saying that at all, and that it was my body, not his. I love my cousin so much and she always knows what to do to make me feel better. He’s her blood uncle and we’re quite close with her family (even though we can’t see them as much as we’d like due to distance) so I was quite surprised when she was saying that he was in the wrong, considering she’s known him for her entire life (longer than she’s known me, by four years).

I’m really confused now because my mum doesn’t like getting involved (though now she’s arranged a healthy-eating plan, woohoo, even though I don’t snack that much anyway) so I don’t have her opinion on the matter. But my dad thinks I’m overweight and he’s my dad and you believe your dad, you know? More so than statistics, I guess…

I was crying for so long yesterday over this and I don’t know what to think. 😦

Thank you for reading this post,

Lia

23 thoughts on “My dad

  1. Girl, you are beautiful just as you are. I’m pretty sure that you’re not fat if you’re in the right BMI thing (I don’t know much about what BMI is though hehe). Beauty standards and standards for what’s skinny/fat change with time and with which country you’re in. Besides, I think that as long as you’re healthy, it’s fine, so don’t worry about it too much~~ πŸ˜€
    Also, technically, if you’re losing weight or trying to lose weight snacking is good and all, since it keeps you satiated and then you don’t end up overeating when you do eat. πŸ˜‰
    You are an amazing person who is very beautiful on the inside and who has the beauty where it matters most (the inside!). I don’t know what you look like, but I’m sure that you’re a gorgeous person. Keep smiling & stay awesome~

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  2. Sometimes parents say too much or the wrong thing. It doesn’t mean that they don’t love you, they just don’t know how to express it, I guess. Don’t be down, you’re beautiful. Trust me, you are ❀ xx

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  3. If this comes out the wrong way, I apologize in advance. But please know, that I’m coming from a place of kindness, not hatred. I hope you don’t take this the wrong way.

    Maybe your dad is just worried that you’re gaining weight and it’s not healthy. Maybe he didn’t mean it from an appearance point of view, but more from a health point of view. Obese people can have more health problems like diabetes and high blood pressure in the future as they get older.

    I’ve realized, in general, parents want the best for you. Sometimes, they forget how we’ll take in it when they say something. As a result, they’ll say something that can be hurtful because we take it in the wrong way.

    Yes, it is your body, but that doesn’t mean you shouldn’t listen to what other people are saying. Or at least, listen to the people rooting for you. Sometimes, we harm ourselves and we don’t know it. Note: I’m not saying you’re an unhealthy eater. I don’t know what your diet is, so I can’t make a comment on that. A good idea would be to eat proper meals so that you don’t feel hungry and avoid snacking. Again, I’m not a nutritionist, but this is something that works for me. It wouldn’t harm to try it.

    Try asking your dad to clarify what he meant. I’m sure he has your best interest at heart. If not, you can ask your mom on what she thinks.

    I hope that helps!

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    1. thank you for your concern but you really need more input into the context. I don’t snack much at all. And the fact is, not that he wants me to stop snacking, that he called me fat. Now, that is why I did this post. And I exercise regularly as well. Maybe you should think about the context first…

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Gosh, I don’t know what to say. I didn’t mean to hurt your feelings. I was trying to help. He called you fat. That was wrong. I agree. Also, I did mention that I don’t know all the facts, so I cannot make any assumptions. Would you say that my comment hurt your feelings? If so, I’m very sorry.

        I wanted to say something else, but I think I’ll leave it here because I have a feeling I’ll make you angry instead. I’ll just leave you alone. That will be the best.

        Like

  4. Heyy Li, Li sorry my best friend has a really similar name and I call her that :p. Anyways, you are not fat, I know for a fact my Dad does not word things exactly um sensitively and it does take its emotional toll on me and my brother (considering the fact that my parents are divorced and I don’t see much of him anyway.) Sometimes parents will say the wrong things, they’re humans after all but I don’t think your Dad meant it, he loves you and I think he was trying to do it for your benefit although it might’ve been an exaggeration. I know from experience the damage eating disorders and insecurities can do to you, please don’t add another thing to your list to be worried about. I used to throw away my lunch, not eat breakfast and have a really small dinner, but now I don’t care. Tbh I think I probably do snack too much, but that’s my problem and I know the risks of obesity etc. so it’s my decision. So do whatever makes you happy, although me, I probably wouldn’t be able to maintain a healthy eating style xD, and believe and trust me when I say this, you are definitely not fat.

    Liked by 1 person

  5. I know that he’s your dad, but remember that this is YOUR body. If your cousin’s saying he’s wrong, then I’d say, believe her rather than him. He may be your dad, but he shouldn’t treat you like that, especially when he knows you have insecurities. Carrying on being who you are, regardless of what he says, because the most important thing is for you to be happy.

    Liked by 1 person

      1. Any time. I know how body insecurity feels, especially when a fmily member points it out. If you ever need to talk, I’m here!

        Like

  6. I know this is late but wow I can’t believe he would say that to you. I guess some people are really blunt with their opinions but you shouldn’t let it affect you. After all, it’s one opinion out of a million. Even though he’s your Dad he doesn’t necessarily know what’s best for you (or what is right or true for that matter). Do what you want to do. Not what he wants. That way you have no regrets and only you know what will make you happy.
    Also the whole image of being ‘fat’ is a subjective thing anyway. Who is he to claim if you’re overweight or not? So don’t worry about it, you’re fine just as you are trust me πŸ™‚

    Liked by 1 person

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