Sorry

I guess I haven’t posted for a while.

I just haven’t been feeling so good, both mentally and physically. It was really hot today and I don’t like the heat because it makes me feel ill. I did have a nice day out with my mum though, but that was a temporary boost. Right now, I’m sad again. It’s just the worry, the constant worry, of not knowing what to do or whether I’m doing it right or whether I’m liked or what they want or I don’t know – just everything. It all gets on top of me.

It’s like I’m at the bottom of the ocean and I’m trying to swim up but my leg is caught in a rock and I’m running out of oxygen and then my oxygen tank just bursts and I’m gasping and I’m gasping and I drown.

I’m sorry I’m being so negative; I’m just so worried about stuff. I can’t deal with anything; I’m not ready to do anything. I can’t grow up, I’m not ready, I’m not. I’m really not ready. It’s so scary.

Sorry, hope you guys are okay. ๐Ÿ™‚

8 thoughts on “Sorry

  1. Awww Lia, you have no obligation to post if your not up to it, I hope you’re okay ๐Ÿ’— Everyone has these kind of moments where they are just physically + mentally exhausted, take your time to get back on your feet x

    Liked by 1 person

  2. You don’t have to apologize for not feeling up for writing! Post blogs as regularly or not as you wish–they’re supposed to be fun, after all!
    To be honest I’ve been feeling kinda the same lately. I’m meant to be eighteen in two months, and I still don’t know how to do a lot of the things my peers can do (I want to learn to drive, but I’m scared I’d mess it up completely). It’s a lot more common with autistic people anyway, though: the transition to adulthood is supposed to be really difficult for us. One of the professionals at my diagnosis meeting said I’d wake up at 35 and finally feel like things were “sorted”, like I can wait until then. ๐Ÿ˜‰
    I find going onto this student problem social media accounts helps, as you have all these people who’re slightly older than us talking about how they’re in their twenties and still feel like teenagers. It’s a little comforting to know that I’m not the only one who doesn’t feel like I have everything figured out yet. I don’t know if this would help you, but it’s worth attempting, even just for the brief laugh!
    In all seriousness, I hope you feel better soon. If you need a break from blogging, or need to cut down how often you post blogs (I’m currently only posting fortnightly, ah), then do it. Your mental and physical health and wellbeing is the most important thing.
    PS: Sorry this comment is so long!

    Liked by 1 person

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